Grief, trauma, loss


Grief is something you never “get over”.

Grief stays with you forever, but with adequate help and support you can grow through your loss, grow around your loss, and still THRIVE.

It is inevitable that at some point everyone will experience a loss, grief or trauma of some kind. While many people do adapt to the change in their circumstance there are also those that need a helping hand to do so. Not everyone has the ability, the awareness, the strategies, the support network, even the finances to carry and nurture themselves, And/or loved ones through their journey.

Often unresolved grief can lead to behavioural, social, emotional and physical issues. In some cases, a person can become “stuck” in their grief. Developing further complications with their mental health. Long term this can lead to suicidal attempts and even completion of suicide.

I was seven when my brother died. I don’t really remember the few years after that, it was like I was stuck in a dark hole struggling to see out of it.

T Smiles Foundation, help with grief, trauma & loss in South West Hertfordshire


Childhood experiences can have a lasting effect.

Our personality, our attachment styles, our work ethic, our relationships and friendships.

Trauma can affect anyone at any age, and no one will be affected the same way, or for the same length of time as everyone’s experience is personal to them.

Unresolved childhood trauma, can lead to individuals finding coping mechanisms, engaging in anti-social behaviour, criminality, hyper-sexuality, low self-esteem and confidence, to name a few.

Trauma can have a lasting affect on anyone adult or child if not given the space, time and safety to acknowledge and explore their feelings.

As adults we are often set in our ways, refusing to acknowledge trauma not realising that a lot of our negative behaviours are born from just that. Others take accountability and want to make a change for themselves, they want to break patterns, and create healthier lifestyle choices and just need that hand to guide them through their journey from survival to Thriving.

We were taken into care, I thought my mum didn’t want us.I didn’t get it. Why are we with these people? Even though after a while, a family member took us in, I still felt lost.


The consequences of loss can be similar to that of grief and trauma.

It is having an emotional attachment to something or someone that we can no longer gain access to. This can be, a loss of home, loss of health, loss of country, loss of family environment, loss of relationship / friendship, change of school, loss of job, disowned by religion, etc. These can be devastating experiences and hard to come to terms with for some people. Again, many with the right resources are able to manage their loss in a healthy way, but there are also some that need support.

He was my only friend. The only one who listened and understood me, when he moved I felt lonely, depressed and isolated. I didn’t want to go to school anymore – what was the point. I don’t understand the work and the teachers are always punishing me, I don’t know how I’ll manage without him.